where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I don't appreciate you drunk dressing passed-out me in spandex for bed
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
Randomize
