no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
They said an hour before I even see a doctor...and they noticed the shots tally on my arm.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
