im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
