Kareoke will never be a sober sport
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
There's always time for handjobs
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Randomize