I just ate 3 burrito supremes and a crunchwrap...can't feel feet...I think I have diabetes
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
