Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I'm high and having a granola buffet this has got to be the healthiest I have ever been
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
