your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
We ended not having sex. I didn't want to explain that I was wearing a Unitard because all my socks and underwear were dirty.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
