The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Randomize
