Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
