He's not gay. He just has bad gaydar and he gaydared himself and was wrong.
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
