Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
I got the number from the girl at uhaul even after she saw me throw up all over the parking lot with a 6 pack in my hands.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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