I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
