4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
I don't remember much of half-time. I do remember climbing onto the roof of the fraternity and telling people I was going to stargaze in French.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Randomize
