But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
Randomize
