its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Pretty sure I recall hugging our waiter from the bar last night. That also means we are NEVER going there again
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize
