can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
No. I didn't know. I thought mid afternoon shots meant the day could only get better.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
It's like they're playing jeopardy and the category is "things that make women dry."
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize
