I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize