Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i woke up and the dog was eating spaghetti off my chest.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
I'm in the "I'd rather have Carbs than Dick phase" part of my Life right now. YOU tell me how much Skinny Sex I'm having.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Let's get the cat blown out
I made him watch the first 5 episodes of Game of Thrones before I decided to sleep with him.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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