The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
