erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
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