therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I gave her the last ten dollars to my name and bitch comes back with a six pack of bud light and a pack of sour patch kids
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
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