I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So that prostitue I banged at Steve's bachelor party just texted and invited me to a BBQ at her parents. Never again doubt the power of the cock piercing.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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