i think i have two assholes
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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