saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
Randomize