would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I accidentally burped into my bong.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
Woke up Christmas Eve morning with my face smelling like ballsack.. No regrets.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Dude, I'm sorry if you saw me getting head in my truck last night. My bad.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Randomize
