I'd wear matching sweaters with you
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
out of nowhere you said let us see your boobs, then proceeded to pull my shirt down.
i gets down
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I just found a video of you asking to be a whale with me.
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
