i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
Did you just see the Batmobile???
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The effect you have on my penis from a different state is impressive
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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