She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
