soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
I just imagined your drunkass eating Taco Bell in my living room. This is the Godmother of my potential child.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Well, after a pitcher of beer, I set my ex on fire. It was a little fire, he's fine. How's your night?
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
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