I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
