So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Ladies don't puke and tell
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
Randomize
