I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
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