Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
When theres a zombie apocalypse, i will be the only fat survivor. I ate chef boyardi ravioli with part of a pen for a fork
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
I told you I couldn't sleep because of the speed and you rolled over and replied "shh. just pretend."
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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