this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Randomize
