Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
The ecstacy made me so dehydrated I started licking condensation off car windows
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
