yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
I'm like bob the builder except I'm fixing boners.
I'm laying backwards. On the stairs. Eating carrots. And drinking from a captain Morgan bottle.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
