Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
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