why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
