Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
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