If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
The usual, bring face make up, I have a weird gash on my nose, probably from my one night stand
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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