Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
Randomize
