Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
At what point in time did you think it was ok to jizz in my hair while I slept??
Around the time you told me my brothers dick was bigger.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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