I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Sam 'it Won't Fit' Wilson". No clue when or where it came from....
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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