What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
His hands were made for my vagina.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
quick, give me some iron man trivia, i'm going to make this girl regret quoting tony stark in her tinder bio
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
Randomize
