I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
