dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I am one with the molecules
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