Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
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