I'll buy you a vibrator, we can get married for tax benefits, and live happily ever after with lots of doggggs.
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Just got blown whilst wearing a glow in the dark superman t shirt. Your night will never be as good as mine.
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Randomize
