I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
