The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
I’m home.
I’m aware. I just dropped you off.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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