so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
