My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
