I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
it's like heaven, but drunker
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
All i remember was you crying naked on the bathroom floor because you were cold. I got you a blanket and you kept kicking it off and crying because you were still cold.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
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