you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize