whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize