Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We were pulling the glow sticks off of him and he just kept yelling, "my bones! You're taking my bones!" and asking me if I was on the crew team
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
