got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
He has a really nice penis but its like a model that wasn't built to scale
thanks. im glad you find me better in your comparison between me and fat girl porn.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Randomize
