stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
If wanting to text you my feelings after three mojitos is wrong I don't wanna be right.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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