I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
