Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
If last night was a preview of 2015, I quit.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Randomize