i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
I think drinking White Russians at half past four in the afternoon is perfectly acceptable. I'd bought a LOT of milk and cream that needs to be used up. Resourceful, check, fuckable, check. You have a great girlfriend here pal.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I was 40 minutes late to work today because I was getting fucked. Walked in to discover that it's apparently performance review day. Employee of the year.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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