Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
Randomize
