Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Randomize
