We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
